The death of someone close to us not only leaves us with a vacuum but also makes us feel lost, confused and too pained to move on. It may disorient us from carrying out with our normal routines. The memories of the times shared with our loved ones is something that can never be forgotten, what we do is find ways of living with them.
Following experiences and advice, there are a number of tips that are helpful in coping with the loss.
Whenever human beings are faced with something not normal to their everyday life, we are bound to experience a variety of emotions. In cases of pleasant events, we get excited, amused, happy and a certain feeling of fulfilment. In cases of sad events, as is the case of death, we feel pain, anger, guilt, sadness, denial, confusion, humiliation, to mention but a few. Your emotions will be like a roller coaster while you are accepting the death of a loved one.
Knowing about the emotions associated with death listed herein become helpful in managing them, or in assisting others with similar emotions deal with them.
Moods flare are quite normal in a time of loss, so be easy and let the moods be. Just do what your moods dictate at a particular time, not to the extreme though. For instance, do not deny yourself a chance to eat for long as this will deprive you your physical well-being.
Do not worry about the emotions, for in time they will surely fade away and you will belong to your normal state again.
There are times when what we experience will go beyond emotions. You may get sick, lose appetite, get sleepless nights, and get nauseated, among other unpleasant experiences. This was further proven by American Psychological Association (APA) in their article, “Grief: Coping With The Loss Of Your Loved Ones.”
Being around others who are with you in the loss-
Do not pull away from the rest of your family or friends who are similarly affected by the loss. They will need your support much as you need theirs. There is power in moving together than in moving alone during the loss of a loved one.
Keeping to yourself at times is necessary, only talk when you feel you are ready. It gives you time to meditate over the loss and allows for room to remember the deceased on our personal levels, thereby preparing us to meet the challenges that we will encounter while also strengthening us to be able to talk about it freely. If you can sit and memorize by yourself, then talking about it might be just easy once you are done with the self-moments.
Taking care of oneself- When accepting the death of a loved one.
Death of a loved one throws us off balance, that we might forget or plainly not want to carry on with our normal routines like feeding and cleaning up. This is quite risky as it may put our physical beings at risk of being sick.
Sometimes you have some pills subscribed to help you deal with the anxiety and pain, but do not let yourself be entirely dependent on these drugs for ultimate survival. Learn to deal with the loss on your own as much as you can, as relying on things like drugs or perhaps alcohol can eventually lead to addiction. These secondary aids in dealing with emotions will also derail the natural process of healing, if not cause physical health deterioration on another level.
Relying on professional counselling-
Loss of a loved one is handled differently by people owing to their ages, religious and traditional beliefs, the type of relationship they had with the departed, how sudden the death was, amongst other factors. For some people, therefore, the impact might be quite enormous, too much to handle on an individual basis. This might require the help of a counsellor.
Reach out for counselling as it is normal. Do not lock yourself out contemplating on how the society will judge you, you nobody no explanation, you need to care of yourself first to be able to take care of others or the things around you.
Reach out for professional counselling should you feel the pressure is intense. It is further not determined at what point the counsellor should be involved, anytime is appropriate time provided it will make you feel better.
Sometimes you can also join support groups as an alternative to counselling. Problems sharing among people ailing with similar problems provides chances of learning how people deal with the same kind of problems, thereby tipping you on how to go about it. Besides, sharing is a step towards healing even in support groups.
Remember your loved one for the happy times-
Instead of wallowing in the thoughts of times lost and a future without them, shift your focus to the happy times you shared together. What are some of the jokes you shared, or nice movies you watched together?
Add some sense of humour to the weaknesses they had. For instance, instead of citing how the deceased was a forgetful someone. Approach it from the angle of a deceased being someone who only lived on the spur of the moment, always making fun of every situation. Humour just like laughter is a nice way of dealing with a loss, hence helpful in moving on.
Do not allow yourself to be engulfed in sorrow for long. Yes, it is a feeling that we all go through upon the death of a loved one, but try to overcome it with positive thoughts about how fulfilling their lives were owing to the happy times you had together. Try to get lost in the happy memories, and you will suddenly realize that it isn’t a loss, but a legacy left behind.
Above are just some ways of accepting the death of a loved one, there is no surefire way of going about it. Whether the death was sudden like in the case of an accident or was anticipated as is the case of a long-term illness, the pain is still gruesome.