Are you wondering when funeral poems should be used? Funerals are a natural part of our lives. All of us have to say goodbye to the ones we love sooner or later. We just prefer it would be later but there is no knowing when it can happen.
While they are definitely going to a better place, letting them go can be tough. At funerals, you have the opportunity to say goodbye in a poignant manner that allows you and everyone who loves them to remember them in a better light. To do this, funeral eulogies can be a good way to express all your emotions in a healthy and coherent manner.
Your heart might be breaking but following the outline of the eulogy will allow you to be stronger and take the first step towards letting them go. Additionally, poems are included at the end of the eulogy so it can be the perfect way to say goodbye.
The Goal of a Eulogy
As previously stated, the eulogy allows you to coherently note down your emotions and say goodbye. The eulogy also serves as a short way to remember all the good, joy, and happiness that a person brought to your life.
These are meant to showcase the person you are saying goodbye to in a positive light. It is common and expected to use the eulogy for the following reasons:
- Speak about the deceased person
- Explain how they were as a person
- How they were with their family
- What they contributed to the community
The eulogy will be a glowing reminder of who the person was and how they lived their life. It is going to be tough to deliver it, especially if you are saying goodbye to someone you truly loved. That’s why you can also include a funeral poem in the eulogy. In fact, most eulogies include poems for their loved ones that have been chosen just for them.
Including a Poem in the Eulogy
If you were wondering when should funeral poems be used? Then the answer is in the eulogy. The eulogy is one area where you can express your emotions and say goodbye. This is often done by sharing fond memories, fun stories or just talking about what a great person someone is.
Adding a poem at the end of the eulogy can also be a poignant way to express your grief or give hope to others. If you know that the deceased loved a poem, you can also share it with others. However, if you want to opt for a new one, there are plenty of different funeral poems on the topic of loss, saying goodbye and more.
In some cases, you might want to write your own poem to include in the eulogy. If that is possible, then take the time to do so. However, no one is going to fault you for picking a poem from the hundreds that you can find online. Once you do find the perfect poem, take the time to see how this composition fits in with the tone of the eulogy. It can take a bit of fine-tuning but you will eventually find the perfect poem that can use.
Delivery of the Eulogy
Eulogies are always delivered by close family members, friends or the clergy. In some cases, the funeral conductor might also choose to deliver the eulogy. You should also consider your emotional state if you are among the people who are responsible for delivering the eulogy. There is no shame in passing the duty on to others if you are unable to do this.
Writing and delivering the eulogy can be an experience that is positive for some but others might not feel the same way. If composing the eulogy was not positive for you, then let others handle it. You might even prefer to have someone else deliver the eulogy you wrote. Being sad or overwhelmed during this time is completely normal – it is a huge life change.
Additionally, you also need to remember to keep the eulogy short. Even the longest one should not exceed 10 to 15 minutes. It prevents you from rambling on and on and taking up more time than necessary. If there are more speakers, you might want to keep distribute the time for the eulogies into 5 minutes per person.
While it is wonderful that so many people want to give eulogies for someone, it can lead to making the service very long. It is a good idea to allocate time limits for the speakers so that everyone gets done as quickly as possible.
When Should Funeral Poems Be Used – Considerations to Pay Attention to
Now, we have determined when funeral poems should be used but there are certain times when using them might be frowned upon or not considered nice. If this is the case, then you need to be respectful and avoid using the poem, even in the eulogy.
The following are a few considerations that you should pay attention to when you are thinking of using a poem for the funeral:
It’s a Formal Eulogy
Formal eulogies are usually meant to be brief, to the point and are not delivered by family members. The clergy or the funeral organizer might be the one to give the eulogy and they may or may not choose to have a funeral poem in them.
This is usually done for large funerals where time can be of the essence and not everyone might be able to speak. In this case, you cannot share the poem during the service. It might be a good idea to write down the poem in a card and give it to the person who needs it the most.
In some funerals, religious beliefs might mean that the eulogy is focused more on religion, the role of God, having faith and other beliefs. The focus will not be on the secular accomplishments of the person. In such cases, a poem might not be the best thing to include in the funeral.
Instead, opt for hymns or sayings which can bring comfort to the person and will be better accepted. Adding a poem to the mix here might end up being a serious faux pas which could make one feel worse than feeling comforted.
These are the two major areas when you should not use funeral poems. Other than that, most funerals are more than accommodating to allow speakers the freedom to include thoughtful poems. However, make sure that you ask beforehand, especially if no one has asked you to speak at the funeral.
Picking a Poem for the Funeral
Now that you have worked out when funeral poems should be used, it is time to focus on the kind of poem you should pick. This can be tough because there are literally hundreds of thousands of poems that you can find. Reading these can also feel a bit impersonal as they are meant for various funeral types.
If you are having trouble relating to a poem or finding one that is just right, you have to consider some other elements. The following are some unique guidelines that you can use for picking or getting inspiration for the best one for you:
The Traditionally Preferred Ones
There are certain poems that cover the subject of death, loss and resonate with the feelings of the person at the funeral. These might have been used multiple times in the past but, they are so apt at encapsulating all your feelings that you might prefer to use them.
Traditional poems also come from renowned poets and authors, including Emily Dickenson, Maya Angelou, William Shakespeare, Lord Byron, and others. With their extensive collections, you can find different poems that will match with your feelings.
For a more personal touch to the poem, you can turn towards their favorite movies as a source of inspiration. Certain movies can have inspirational quotes or songs which can be perfect to include in your eulogy. Pick from movies only if you are sure that everyone knew that they were a movie buff and will understand that you are quoting their favorite movie.
In many movies, references to poetry can be made through the quote. You can hunt down that poem being referenced and make it a part of the funeral. This will allow you to get some good poetry that is meaningful and appropriate. Sometimes, you might even discover a poem written by the author that the move was based upon.
The Music They Listened To
The music taste of a person can also be a source of inspiration for finding the perfect poem. This can be an especially tactful move if you were aware that they were huge fans of a particular genre, band or style. Keep in mind that playing music at a funeral is not a good idea.
This can be seen as an extremely rude step unless you get prior approval from others. Instead, you can read out the lyrics in the form of a poem. If you do get permission to play the song, make sure you pick a good, heartfelt one. You will have a lot of options to pick and choose from. However, if the person was a fan of death metal, it might not be a good idea to play a song from their favorite band at their funeral.
Plays or Musical Shows They Liked
Sometimes, live plays and musical shows might have the perfect poem that you can use. Many people loved musicals and if you know they loved them too, then you can try to use that as a source of inspiration. Good plays and musicals include The Sound of Music, Les Miserables, The Wizard of Oz, My Fair Lady and more.
Again, exercise your own judgment on picking the song or poem. A happy, upbeat song can be seen as one having bad taste. If that is going to happen, make sure to announce this beforehand. It will prepare your guests beforehand and avoid hurting any feelings.
Matches Your Eulogy
It is a good idea to make sure that your chosen funeral poem matches with your eulogy. As we previously mentioned in the answer to ‘when should funeral poems be used?’poems are perfect as endings in eulogies. Make sure that the poem you use allows you to give endings in this manner.
You want to make sure that the poem you have chosen incorporates many of the themes and concepts you are talking about. If you are having difficulty finding a poem that matches properly with your eulogy, just make sure to let everyone know exactly why you chose that particular poem. Otherwise, they could be completely confused by your choice.
One of the last but most important points about picking a poem involves the reading time. You want a poem that allows you to make the most of your speaking time. This means that you read your eulogy and poem together and see what the reading time is.
It’s better to pick a poem that is shorter than picking a longer one. If there are other people reading eulogies or speaking at the funeral service, it is a good idea to make sure that they have appropriate time to left to finish their eulogies. Otherwise, you could end up eating their time slot with your large eulogy.
With the help of these tips, you can not only figure out when should funeral poems be used but also find the perfect one for the funeral. This always makes sure that you are able to deliver a heartfelt eulogy which commemorates your loved one in a respectful manner.
Find Funeral Poems with Us
If you are still having trouble, take a look at the collection we have available. With our help, you can find the best funeral poem that expresses your feelings. These poems are picked to allow you to say goodbye to your loved ones with ease and in the most respectful manner.
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