Nothing is more painful for a parent than to bury their child. From their own flesh and blood came this
beautiful child who was given to them but taken so soon. The pain can be overbearing, tearing the heart into pieces. Let’s have a look at Comforting Words for a Mother who has lost a Child
Even more challenging than this is because the mother held the child in her womb for nine months. And, in these moments of loss and grievance, the words you speak to the bereaved parents will forever etch in their hearts.
Comforting Words for a Mother who has lost a Child
Often, the most challenging phase for someone trying to give comfort is finding the right words to say. Too often, you will hear, “he is now in a better place” or “it is his time to leave this earth.” Although their words are well-meant, the timing wasn’t right. Rather than bring comfort, it may lead to further damage to the bereaved family.
A son who has left before his parents, regardless of the reason, is devastating and demeaning. Parents go
through an unimaginable emotional turmoil. They tend to blame themselves for not being able to protect
their precious son. Or, worst could wish that it was them instead of their son on the death bed. The timing, tone, and content play a huge role in showing them your utmost affection and sympathy.
The power of the right words
Words are powerful. It can make you or break you. So choose them well. Here are the things that you should not say to the family:
He has served his purpose.
Be strong. Move on.
He is smiling down at you from heaven.
There’s no pain in heaven.
I feel you. I am sorry.
Time heals all wounds.
You will soon forget about him.
At least you don’t have to worry about anything. Your son is happy where he is now.
You will get by.
Annoying things to avoid
Another annoying practice some people have is asking how and why the child died to the parent. Be
considerate and ask another family member instead. Asking them to repeat the incident over and over again is like adding insult to the injury. Worst of the mourners are those who offer unsolicited advice rather than words of comfort.
Among all the family members, mothers are the most sensitive in such a loss. The same child you have
brought to this world, whom you sacrificed everything for and prayed for his success, is now gone. As a
friend or family member, it is crucial that the mother feels your presence, sympathy, and love in this time of hardship.
Here are some comforting words for a mother who has lost a child:
- We are sorry for your loss.
- I am here for you. If you need someone to talk to, I am just one call away.
- I am blessed to have met your son. You have raised him well
- No words can ever take away the pain. But know that I will always pray for you and your family so you can come out more positive and more courageous.
- My deepest condolences for your loss. You are not alone. I will always be here to help you.
- Your son was a blessing to others. And I am one of those he had touched in his own small way.
Wishing you strength for today and tomorrow.
Think about using a poem
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The inevitability of death
Death is inevitable and will happen in a lifetime. But timing is always mysterious. With an occurrence that
none can ever predict, leaning into the divine intervention often gives you respite.
Here are some bible verses that you can share to comfort the mother:
“Where have you put him,” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept. (John
11:34-35). This verse tells them that it is okay to grieve for He himself once wept. Losing a person you hold dear will forever leave an etch in your heart. What more for a child that’s connected to your being.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. (Psalm 34:18) A verse to remind the mother that God knows her grievances and sufferings. And He will bring comfort and strength in times of distress.
He will wipe every tear in your eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying in pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelations 21:4) This verse is about finding joy, even in a hard place.
With the passing tide, every storm shall pass, and silver lining will be cast at the end of the rainbow.
“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she delivers the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for the joy of the human being that has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” (John 16:21-22) He holds the promise that one day everyone will see each other in heaven.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust: I shall not be afraid, what can flesh do to me…? You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? (Psalm 56:4&8)
Tough times always bring the worst or best in everyone. But, it is during these challenging times where you mold the person that you become, where you separate the weeds from the flowers. Don’t be a weed. Bring the sunshine in the life of mourning mothers. Mothers always have a soft spot in everyone’s heart. Seeing them in pain can tear down even the best of us.
As you offer these comforting words, say them with sincerity and sympathetic gestures. Often, it’s not just what you speak that matters but how you delivered it. A simple hug and pat on the back could go a long way to give warmth to their frozen heart and a respite to their bone-weary soul. You may not be able to fill the void her son left in her heart, but you can plant a seed of hope for the future. Be that friend they can lean on.