There will be very few times in our life that we will have to organise a funeral. I recently lost my Mother and my brother and I quite frankly had no idea where to start.
We are going to take you through the steps that have to be taken and hopefully make life just a little easier during this sad time.
Two of the biggest problems that came up was finding a suitable funeral poem for mum and dealing with the grief that followed. Identifying the symptoms of grief and how to effectively cope with grief.
Choosing suitable words to express in Funeral Poems For Mum were particularly difficult. We quickly discovered a handful of Funeral Verses for Mother that seemed to be used by everyone. We didn’t want to do that. We wanted to use a Funeral Poem that would impress our audience and convey some words that were directly applicable to our own situation.
How to deal with the sudden death of a loved one- 2 helpful ways of honouring the deceased, 3 secrets of taking care of oneself.
One of the most difficult things in life is handling the sudden death of someone close to us. You perhaps woke up in the morning, talked, and wished each other a nice day, then amidst it all, you receive the shocking news of their passing on. The magnitude of the pain this cases cannot be measured, besides being hard to explain.
You are probably here because you need assistance, directly or know of someone who does. The holy Bookshop has a number of tips that will surely help as you journey and learn how to adjust, to include things like a collection of the best funeral poems, funeral verses, and funeral quotes to gift the deceased. The pain will subside as time goes by, but we believe in helping through our little tip full gesture.
Honouring the deceased.
Where somebody suddenly dies, you may never really have been prepared on how to go about sending them off, the things you should do to honour them, and the best ways to go about them.
Making proper funeral arrangements.
Someone close to you deserves a befitting send-off, something that meets more than the eyes can see. But in the grieving period, even the simplest things appear like an uphill task. It is even more challenging now that there may be zero chances of the deceased had left behind a will of the way they wished for things to be done during the funeral. This responsibility, together with grieving itself, is quite massive.
• Selecting a funeral director- there are places where one must use the services of funeral providers by law, but there’re places where it is a matter of personal choice. This might become handy however because you are likely to get overwhelmed by emotions following the sudden death of a dear one. It will give you time and space to handle your grief.
Select a funeral provider whose services have been proven to be worthwhile as recommended by friends or relatives, whose cost you can meet, and one located within your locality. Find out the full list of services they offer and the cost for each, to enable you to decide whether you need all or just some of them. Ask whether they have any packages, as these are usually less costly.
• Gathering information about the deceased- you need to put together their full names, date and place of birth, date and place of death, list of the relatives left behind, your own name and type of relationship with the deceased, and state when the funeral service will be needed.
• Choosing the type of funeral- there are situations where people write a will early in life, regarding the type of funeral that they may want upon death, calling you to adhere to such. If not, consult with the rest of the family as to which one you can choose.
There are the full-service traditional type of funerals which involve viewing, someone officiating the service, and a final burial, body cremation, or entombment.
Another type of service is where there is no viewing but rather a direct burial with a graveside service. There is also one where the body is immediately cremated, the ashes placed in an urn, and thereafter, a service held in a predetermined location.
• Making payments- having decided on the type of funeral service, proceed by finding out the involved costs, then make payments. With funeral service providers, find out their payment plans, and methods of payments preferred.
• Death certificates- this can be requested for as per one’s law. There are places where anyone can make the application, and there are places where only a close relative will do it. It usually has information about the name of the deceased, what caused their death, date and place of death, marital status, and the names of the parents. They are usually given within the state where someone died, and the application can be initiated online, via email, through a phone call or in person.
• Obituaries and death notice- obituaries are usually free but will require that you communicate earlier enough to the relevant newspaper, and exercise patience until there is space for publishing. There is no surety with obituaries as they may fail to be published as per your time if there is no space.
Death notices are paid for, usually as per the words used, based on the space they will occupy.
Using death notices and obituaries brings to public knowledge, the passing on of the deceased, and is also a nice gesture of showing love to the deceased.
One should find out how long the above will be published based on the charges levied, whether or not a photo can be used, and if there is an extra charge for it, and f=if they need a notice prior to publishing them.
In the death notice or obituary, you will find information on the deceased’s name, where they resided, date, and place of death, the immediate family members, surviving or otherwise, their interests and achievements, date and place of burial, and any other information on memorial service.
• Making funeral invitations- the family or yourself then decide on whether you wish to have a private funeral function or want a large group to attend. The most key individuals to be invited should be the close friends, family members and close neighbours, the employer if the deceased was working when they died, and a religious figure based on the deceased’s religious practices where applicable.
• Funeral flowers- use of a floral display on caskets or n graves is a common practice, whereby you get to choose the flower types and pattern for the arrangement. It is better to go for flowers based on the deceased’s taste if possible.
• Transport arrangements- seal all possible loopholes here by ensuring that there are a means of transporting the deceased’s body, and the mourners too, either as provided by the funeral home, or as per one’s personal preference and financial capability.
• Funeral dress code- the most common funeral practice involves wearing black clothes, but this is not a do or die rule. You can go for other dull colours too. In respect of the deceased and other mourners, don’t come in wild patterns or bright colours. At this point, avoid clothes that are extra revealing, but rather opt for those that cover up the body modestly.
Gifting them upon their demise.
Going an extra mile during the send-off of the deceased loved one gives the satisfaction of having done everything possible, an indication that they are special and cared for even in death. We have a list of these little special gestures.
1. Using funeral poems, funeral quotes, and funeral verses. The Holy Bookshop has a list of the best funeral verses, best funeral poems, and best funeral quotes suitable for giving your suddenly deceased loved one a befitting send-off. You will also find the most popular funeral poems, verses, and quotes amongst them. You probably wondering how you will employ the above mentioned during the deceased’s funeral. Worry not, we have listed how below.
During the funeral service- one can select one or more funeral poems, verses and or quotes to use in the funeral service, either at the morgue, home of the deceased, in church, by the graveside, or any other location where the family wishes to have the service conducted.
Memorial service- these may be held immediately upon their death or much afterwards as planned for by the family, and the funeral verses, funeral poems, and funeral quotes consequently used to show the special love there is for the deceased.
Together with funeral flowers- remember the use of funeral flowers mentioned above? Well, you don’t have to plainly use them, but can instead print a long funeral poem or a short funeral poem and attach it to the flowers to add meaning to this beautiful gift. The funeral can also be always replaced at the graveside to ensure availability every single time.
On funeral programs- a funeral program will give those attending a systematic preview on the sequence of the funeral service events and the time taken by each activity. But you no longer have to go about this plain and simple, be extra by inserting a funeral poem, funeral verse or funeral quote, or simply a combination of them all, at the beginning or at the end of the program.
You can even get creative by arranging them in between, giving people something to ponder over as the program unfolds.
On gravestones or headstones- traditionally, you will find the deceased’s name, date of birth and date of death embedded on their headstones. Go unique, and embrace the deceased by adding a special funeral poem, funeral quote, or funeral verse which will always serve as a permanent reminder of the message we had about or for them upon their death. This further communicates their personalities for generations to come.
On their obituaries or death notices- we usually have very little room but loads of love that we wish to show to the deceased. That said, any little chance for doing so should be grabbed, to include adding some love and meaning to their obituaries and death notices through use of funeral poems, funeral quotes and funeral verses. No one said you should use only one of the said three, you can mix up a portion of each or two of them.
On thank you notes- it is humanly natural to receive support during grief in our societies, at the end of which the bereaved come back to say thank you. As grief rob us o appropriate words to express our gratitude. And on behalf of the deceased too, one can simply choose a nice funeral poem for this.
Directly gifting the deceased- there will always be a bond shared with the deceased, which may never be replaced by anyone. You can simply pick up a beautiful funeral poem, which captures this love, possibly frame it up or always read it to uplift your spirits whenever you feel low, following the gap left by their demise. This is a poem that you can silently walk to their graveside and read, or simply hold their pictures and recite, as a means of communicating to them.
Having known how you can gift the deceased through a funeral poem, funeral quote, or funeral verse, you can proceed and select one. To get a good poem, concentrate on the deceased’s personality. It will give you the keywords to look for in the poem.
There are situations where the deceased leaves behind a will or has a couple of preferred verses, poems or quotes which can be creatively used herein as their funeral poems or are simply useful in being inserted in the selected funeral poems, quotes or verse for personalization purposes.
2. Holding memorial services. This is a sure way of ensuring their legacies and memories are continuously remembered. It may be done in church, at the deceased’s home or by the graveside, occasionally on the day, they passed on. During this function, one can invite the family members, close friends of the deceased, and or colleagues to give the deceased an assurance of our undying love even when they are long gone.
3. Lighting up candles. It is a beautiful thing which can be done during the funeral or memorial service, be it at home, church, or by the graveside. It can be done routinely, based on what you find comfortable, be it weekly, monthly, or yearly.
4. Playing by the memories. One can involve themselves in activities like visiting the places liked by the deceased on their behalf to honor them, listening to their favorite music, reading their favorite books, watching their favorite movies, eating their favorite foods, and so on, as a way of not letting their interests go dormant just because they are no longer with us.
1. Reading poems and listening to music. These funeral poems partly answer the taking care of oneself partly answer to the question of how to handle the sudden death of a loved one. It is recommended that one speaks about the deceased, especially about the memories and lessons learnt from them, as a strategy towards healing.
These funeral poems capture the beautiful memories shared with the deceased and the impacts they had on our lives in a less painful way, thereby enabling the bereaved to gain the courage to talk about them without reservations.
2. Joining support groups. The journey to recovering from the sudden death of a loved one is not an easy one. Many a time, it is recommended that we don’t walk it alone, but rather have people around us to help us forward. With support groups, you are assured of learning techniques and things to do to help you move on from people in a similar situation as you are. You will therefore not be left behind as people work towards making every moment of their lives count.
Where someone is extremely overwhelmed, professional counselling ought to be considered so as to enable a come back to the normal self.
3. Physically caring for oneself. Grieving deprives you of energy as we tend to overthink and blown by the resultant pain. The body simply needs extra energy to deal with its extra demands. Sad truth is, we may never be able to fully rest o eat well as is desired, but instead get disruptions to our normal eating and sleeping patterns, some of the ways through which the body naturally responds to stressful situations like in the case of a sudden death of a loved one.
Where possible, request for assistance with things like cooking, cleaning up and making funeral or memorial arrangements so that you can have some self-time to eat, rest, shower and relax the brain.
Always take a break from everything once in a while, to have some quiet time to think things through, and reminisce over the effects of the sudden death of a dear one. You will experience varying emotions which need to be handled, but remember the journey may take some time, and also varies according to each person.