From a personal perspective following the death of someone close to me, I found it somewhat difficult to find unique Funeral Poems, Funeral Verses and just something different that would express the feelings I had inside. What happened next was really strange. I felt a variety of emotions that I had never felt before. I now know that I was experiencing grief and it was affecting my whole life. I had to learn how to deal with the loss a loved one.
We are going to take a look at the symptoms of grief and what can be done about it to enable us to cope with the loss of a loved one.
If you have attended a Christian funeral, you may have found it a little different from any other funerals. Although we feel hurt by the death of a loved one, death is not the end of the road for a Christian. In fact, it is more of the beginning of the promised eternal life, which is why Christians tend to celebrate the life of the deceased more than mourning it.
Christians believe that when we die, only the body dies a permanent death while the soul is redeemed and we begin our journey in the eternal life. Christians celebrate home-going of those who have left before us, for we believe that God has prepared a place for us in heaven. However, as human beings, we mourn the death of a loved one because of the void they have left and the times we will miss them on earth.
a) To find comfort and consolation- The Bible offers comfort for those who are mourning with the promise of eternal love and deliverance from the earthly home.
b) To celebrate Home-going-Christians believe in a life after death which is why death is not a loss, it is more of a gain as the deceased has finally gone to the promised heavenly home.
c) To commemorate the deceased-while we are on earth, we go through so much that could be termed as trials and those who have lived in the Lord will also die in the Lord.
Even though the bible promises us eternal life, the fact that we are human and we feel the loss and the empty void makes it only normal to mourn the deceased. That is why we find comfort in the Lord, knowing that we will meet again with the deceased. However, we should accept the death of loved one in order to be able to move on.
Funeral verses help us understand why we should rejoice and let them go. For instance, wouldn’t it be selfish to want them to remain on earth, fighting battles and enduring sufferings just because we love them? God has already made a place for them in heaven where they will rest in eternal peace while we would have wanted them to live for a little longer.
Most of the funeral verses in the Bible encourage us to keep fighting and at the same time offer comfort in the knowledge that like Jesus Christ, we have a place prepared in heaven, where we shall dwell with the Lord. They also emphasize that it is God’s plan that the deceased had to leave their earthly home and that our time is coming too.
They help us restore hope in that we shall reunite with those before us. Christians who die in the Lord are more alive now than ever, and this is no reason to be sad. God would not want us to be sad about it.
If you are looking for funeral verses to read at a loved one’s funeral, you will want to consider what you want people to feel. Do you want to remind them that they have lost someone or do you want them to celebrate a life well lived? God would want us to celebrate the deliverance from earthly sufferings, which is why we find comfort in these funeral verses. However, as mentioned before, we are human and it is okay to mourn and feel bad when we lose a loved one. Some people have difficulty dealing with the loss while others deal with grief in healthy ways.
Dealing with the loss of a loved one I not easy, and sometimes some people never recover from the loss, others get depressed and sometimes they may need professional help. However, it doesn’t have to be like that. To overcome grief, you must really understand what it is, accepts the loss and try as much to move on. The pain is sometimes overwhelming but time helps with acceptance and moving on.
It is hard to define grief from a point of view of a person who recently lost someone but it can be simply defined as the natural response to loss. It entails the pain, and the void you feel when you lose someone you treasure in life. This brings us to the fact that the more important the deceased was to you the more painful it is. For instance, losing your mother to death cannot be compared to losing your best friend, although they are both important people in your life. However, you may suffer the same process of grief which is understandable.
When we first realize that the said person is gone, we are shocked, and to a point that it may not sink in, even if it was expected. It is the disbelief but we cannot dwell there. The fact is, they have gone to a better place and we are also going to leave earth at some point. It is okay to cry or feel the pain but we must understand that the process is different for everyone.
There is not a certain way of dealing with grief but acknowledging your feelings is the first step to healing.
Often, you will feel the empty void in your heart but it is healthy to know what you are feeling. Most of us will deny those feelings because we don’t want to be seen as weak for showing emotions.
However, it is okay to grief the first step to grieving in a healthy manner is to accept it. As much as it hurts, there is emotional and mental healing that comes with owning up to our feelings. Even God himself offers us comfort during those difficult times as he knows we are human and prone to these feelings. It is also important to note that grieving can bring out other sorts of emotions but if you are aware of them, you will not project them in unhealthy behaviours like alcohol and drugs. There are five stages of grieving as follows;
When we lose a loved one, we automatically get into this first stage of grief where life makes no sense. This is especially if the deceased was a close relative or spouse. In this stage, we go numb, probably will be tempted to think that we have no emotions whatsoever. For instance, as someone who lost their mother, I thought I would never feel again. In one way or the other, I didn’t have a reason to go on, after all, I thought I would die soon.
The more it hurt the more I neglected those emotions, eventually, I became totally numb, which was not a good thing. I would struggle to get through each day, trying to find a reason why I should go on living. However, this stage helps us cope with the loss. At this stage, you take in as much as you can but what you may not realize is that you are healing. You may find comfort in the Lord, knowing that the deceased would have wanted you to go on, and so does God. In some of the funeral, bible verses encourage us to live on, to go on with life as our time is coming.
This is the second stage of grieving. Right after you have accepted that the deceased is no longer alive, you will get angry. You get angry at the universe, people and sometimes you get angry at God. You wonder why they had to go and sometimes you don’t think that they deserved to die anyway. The saddest part about anger is that you can’t fix it. This is why you get mad and question yourself and God. It is human nature to want to fix problems, find solutions but there is usually no solution for death.
However, anger is a necessary part of the healing process. However, as much as it is okay to be angry, most people project it towards innocent people; it could be the doctors, oneself, God and the deceased as well. I will use my experience again; I had to watch my mother die, the doctors trying all they can to make her heart beat again to no avail.
However, I was still angry at them, I didn’t think they did all they could. If they did, then why did she die? I asked them. I had just finished my college education and I had been anticipating to help her out but she decided to die before I landed my first job. That made me angry at her and so on. My siblings were also in this wagon, wondering why our mom had to die. However, as the bible says, it is God’s will and we should accept it and thank Him for having given us the time we spent together with our mom. However, this anger kind of gives you something to hold onto, it’s probably the only bridge you have to the deceased and you feel like you don’t want to let it go. With time and comfort, we find a neutral ground and cope with the loss.
When you lose someone, you will often find yourself bargaining with God. Those feelings inside of you would mean you would do anything to have them back, literally anything. This is common especially when your loved one is probably in the hospital and you want them to get well, you ask God to bring back their health and you are prepared to give out anything in exchange of the persons.
The same can happen, when a close person dies, you will wish that there was something you could do to bring them back. We try to bargain with God but in reality, there is nothing you can do about it. This is also accompanied by guilt, if only you would have been there, maybe they could have survived. You may feel guilty that you never said goodbye or maybe you were not on good terms. As much as it is done, it is important to not lose your faith in God and accept His will.
After all these stages, reality starts to kick in. We realize that in one way or the other we have to come up with ways to live in absence of the deceased. Since there is nothing we could have done to keep them alive, we are bound to go on living but in most cases, we have no idea of how to do that. Instead, we are stuck at feeling sad and unfortunately, we cannot control these feelings.
Sometimes you wake up hopeless, and alone. We have no desire to live so you withdraw from life and everyone else. As much as unhealthy depression is, it is also a part of healing and talking about your loss or seeking professional help is good for your mental health. Do not let yourself sink in too deep at this stage.
Once you have undergone all these stages, it is time to move on. After all, we cannot dwell on the loss. However, do not let anyone lie to you that it is easy to just accept and move on. It takes some special kind of energy to let all that sink in, feel all that pain and still want to accept that indeed they are gone.
During this stage, you learn how to deal with reality and finding the person who is not in so much turmoil. Deep down there is that person and to move on, you have to accept it. The truth is, the loss is part of you now but you have a life to get back to. In normal circumstance, you will need to go back to work, family and general life. Eventually, you will start to anticipate for better days, better things in life.
So much can be said about grieving but the process is different for everyone, this means that we take different durations to come to terms with the loss. It could be minutes, days, hours, weeks or months but eventually, we overcome the loss. Finding comfort in God, friends, and family is important at this time. It will keep you from sinking in too deep and eventually you will pick yourself up and learn how to move on. It gets better.
Bereavement may bring a lot of effects on us, whether emotional, mental, spiritual or physical. Believe it or not losing a loved one can put you down in all these aspects. Below is a list of some of the common symptoms of grief;
1. Numbness- This is probably the first symptom you will experience once stricken by loss of a loved one. You will be in shock and disbelief that the deceased is no more. However, this is a good thing as it allows your brain to take it one at a time, as much as you can before experiencing full-blown grief.
2. Sadness- You are bound to feel sad after losing someone you love. This may be accompanied by yearning for the physical presence of the deceased.
3. Anxiety/fear- upon losing someone close, your brain is not ready to accept life without them, especially if they were close. You may be afraid of picturing what life without them looks like. Sometimes you may feel guilty while trying to accept that they are gone and wish that they were still around.
4. Anger- as mentioned above it is normal to be angry at losing someone close but the good thing about it is that anger is an emotion we have control over
5. Fatigue- After losing a loved one, you may wake up with no energy to do anything. Sometimes fatigue may be accompanied by nausea, weight loss or gain and other physical effects of grief.
6. Detachment- coping with the death of a loved one.
After the death and funeral of a loved one, most people go back to their lives which is often a hard task. We develop coping mechanisms to help us deal with the loss because it does not end there. We start coming to terms with the death and haunting memories, especially if we were close to the deceased. However, some people turn to unhealthy behaviours for consolation including drugs, alcohol and so on. There are other methods of coping with grief as outlined below;
a) Allow yourself to feel- all those stages of grieving are important parts of healing process and it is advised to let yourself feel. It is usually unpleasant and you may feel the urge to suppress all those emotions but it is healthy and advisable to let it hurt. Eventually things get better and even if we never get to see our loved ones again, we shall reunite in Christ. This should give us hope to go on living.
b) Draw comfort from God- no matter how hard it is to deal with the loss, it is advisable to turn to God for comfort. Church leaders, fellow Christians and the bible may be a good source of comfort and knowing that we are not alone. This also helps with acceptance, given that we should have faith in the Lord that we shall reunite with those before us.
c) Exercise and eat healthy- Dealing with loss of a loved one comes with a lot of stress and in one way or the other you may find it hard eating or doing normal things you used to do. However, it is healthy to continue exercising and sticking to healthy diets. Some people deal with stress which may include unhealthy eating behavior or not eating at all. Exercising may also be of great help in dealing with anger and sadness.
d) Embrace life- it is not easy finding something to live for after losing someone close to you, especially your spouse or parent. However, you should get back out there, meet up with your friends, go back to your hobbies and do things that make you happy. You will need to pick yourself up and continue living.
Christians believe in the bible teachings that offer comfort knowing that those before us are gone but not forgotten. Jesus is the greatest empathizer and he knows the pain we are going through in efforts to heal from the loss. Even though we have been promised life after death, it is important to note that the Lord understands the pain we go through because we are human.
Funeral verses and memorial bible verses clearly encourage us to go on living, in order to meet our life purposes. The fact that God loves all of us, and is going to deliver us from every suffering and pain should give us solace. It is important to lean on God and let Him guide us through the healing process as he has promised to be with us forever.
In conclusion, we should understand that all is not lost even when we suffer the greatest losses. We should remember that God fulfils His promises and has not left us even as we mourn. When we trust in God, He will lead us and dry our tears. It is okay to feel the loss and all the stages of grief but life does not end there. Instead, we learn to trust in the Lord and hope that we shall reunite with those before us in heaven.
If anything a Christian funeral should also feature a celebration of a life lived well and a soul delivered from the sufferings of this world. This hope is what should keep us going knowing that one day we shall join the Lord in heaven. Even if it hurts to lose our loved ones to death, we should also realize that they have fought their earthly battles and have gone to be with the Lord; they are gone not forgotten.
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