Poem for My Father Who Passed Away. A Helpful and Useful Guide.
When you lose someone you love, finding the right way to honor them and everything they’ve ever done for you can seem like an impossible task. Losing my father, and finding a poem for My Father Who Passed Away who was one of the strongest pillars in my life, was like losing a part of myself. Someone I always knew I could depend on and could turn to was suddenly gone, and I was left with a hole I never thought I could fill.
Of course, I knew I would have to speak at his funeral, but how can you ever find the right words to express that kind of unending love and tragic sense of loss? Finally, I realized that the words of someone else could much more effectively communicate my sentiments than I could at that moment and that reading a poem would be the best way for me to say goodbye.
Now, the only issue I faced was choosing the right poem for my father who passed away. Of course, I knew that I had to find something that fit the tone and situation, but I also wanted to find something that would be meaningful both to myself and to the memory of my father. Here are a few of the things I thought needed to be considered to find the ideal piece for that final farewell.
A Message That Matters
While you’ll certainly be reading this funeral poem out in front of an audience of friends and family, it’s important that you find a poem that touches you at your core and speaks to the relationship the two of you had. Many poems can be considered beautiful and elegant, with flowing phrases that bring up a wide range of emotions, but if it doesn’t hit on what the two of you had and shared together then it’s not the right poem for this moment.
You aren’t saying goodbye to just anyone. This is one of the most pivotal people in your life. This was the man who guided you, who protected you year after year. For me, it was incredibly important that I took my relationship with my father into account when I was choosing something to read. Making sure you find a piece that the two of you would have loved reading and talking about together can help make this final goodbye feel like the closure you need to carry on.
Religious, Spiritual, or None of the Above?
You are passing someone along from one chapter in their life to the next, but what you believe might come after will play an incredibly important role in the poem you decide on. If you believe in any sort of heaven or afterlife, then choosing a poem that involves or matches up with the beliefs of the religion your loved one followed can be a great way to tie things into the ceremony.
On the other hand, you may want to avoid particularly religious works if either yourself or the person in question had any negative feelings towards a church or religion in general. Remember, this is a time where you and your loved ones are coming together for comfort and to celebrate the life they led.
Making yourself and the people around you uncomfortable with whatever you decide to read and trying to live up to anyone else’s expectations will just backfire.
In my case, my father considered himself to be much more spiritual than religious, and so it made sense for me to find a piece that fell into that kind of middle ground. Working with the beliefs that the two of you held in life can help make saying goodbye at least a little easier.
Connection to Memories
When it came time to find the perfect funeral poem for my father who passed away, every poem I read would jog some sort of memory and experience we had together. At first, I would try and avoid this altogether, thinking that it would make me much too emotional to get through the piece on the day. However, I quickly came to find that the poems which touched on something we shared together in the past were the ones that touched me the deepest.
Finding a poem that makes a connection with situations or events that you enjoyed together in the past, or even just things that your loved one was passionate about, can be the perfect way to make that final connection. Perhaps they really loved fishing.
Finding a poem that speaks directly towards the peace that this enjoyable hobby can bring would be perfect. Or, maybe your loved one spent every Saturday walking through the local flower garden. No matter what their personal preferences were, finding a poem that speaks to something they loved will be a way to share your sentiments with everyone who loved and cared for them over the years.
Something That’s Comfortable to Read
As I went through trying to find the best poem for my father who passed away, I quickly started to realize that just because a piece fit my expectations didn’t mean it sounded great when I read it aloud. At the end of the day, this is a poem that you’ll need to share with everyone in attendance, and while you may personally enjoy a poem on your own, you need to make sure that this is something you feel completely comfortable reading out loud for everyone to hear.
Of course, the content will play a huge role in this regard, but you may also want to think about structure. Many people find that reading free-form poetry out loud to an audience can be difficult. This is mainly due to the lack of structure and continuity that prose can have.
However, a more standard rhyming pattern may seem more familiar to you and can be much easier to present in that already stressful situation. Make sure you take the time to practice your poem in front of a mirror a few times so that you can be sure you’ve found something you’ll feel good reading when the time comes.
A Secret Just Between You
For me, when it came time to say goodbye to my father, one of the most difficult things I had to face was doing it in front of everyone in attendance. Of course, I was giving plenty of time on my own throughout the day, but there was just something about that last speech that I wanted to just be between my father and me.
That’s when it struck me that I could find a poem that would make sense for everyone in the audience, but that had an extra something special that only he and I would understand. A hidden message made it feel like we had one last sign of affection between us and it made this difficult moment a little bit easier to bear.
Whether there’s a little inside joke you shared over the years or love of pastrami that no one else knew about, sneaking that little something into your final reading can seem like the perfect send-off. Even if it’s just a sentence, or even just a word, knowing that you have that secret there for you to share can make all the difference in the world.
Did your loved one have a saying or a phrase that they used all the time? For me, whenever my father said a certain line it would drive me absolutely crazy, but after he passed I would have given up almost anything in the world to hear it again. Finding a poem that has that phrase mixed in can be a great way to help you feel like they are really by your side one more time.
Not only will this inclusion help you to form a connection between your piece and the person you loved, but it will also be greatly appreciated by everyone in attendance at the funeral. People make strong connections with the way their friends and family speak, so being able to hear a phrase they thought they’d never hear again will really touch people in a way that can’t be explained. It will almost feel as if your loved one is in the room with you once again, even if only for a moment.
Include Their Accomplishments
Over time, there have been poems written about almost every subject you could imagine. Finding something that speaks directly to the accomplishments and goals your loved one achieved during their lifetime can be a great way to honor them and everything they were passionate about.
Being in tune with your loved one’s passions and finding a poem that expresses that care can be a great way to really touch on who they were and what they’re leaving behind.
Everyone makes a different sort of impact on the world around them and being able to address the ways in which this person affected your life and changed things for the better can help make this incredibly painful and upsetting moment seem at least a little more positive.
It’s incredibly important that you remember that they’ll be with you in everything you do from this point forward, and finding a poem that can help you share that sentiment will be perfect.
Let it Be Emotional
When it came time to choose a poem for my father who passed away, I was dead set on not getting emotional and crying during my reading. I didn’t want anyone to see how truly affected I was by this loss and how traumatic this would be for me overall. For some reason, I thought that would somehow take away from the memory of everything he ever did for me.
However, the truth was that finding a poem that made me emotional meant that it was a poem that touched at the heart of our relationship and that sharing those sentiments wasn’t a bad thing in any way.
In fact, finding a poem that allows you to express every emotion you could feel during this time can be extremely healing. It’s a way for you to share with everyone around you just how much they meant to you, just how much of an impact they had on your life.
Allowing yourself to get emotional and break down might just be exactly what you need to make it through. It’s important to remember that this funeral is a safe space and that everyone in attendance will be grieving exactly like you are. There’s really no better place to show a bit of weakness than here.
Think About the Timing
Sometimes, the most amazing poem in the whole world can end up being the worst choice just because it means you’ll need to make it through an incredibly long time just to reach the end. The length of the poem you choose to read can be one of the most important factors simply because having to get up and read for an extended period of time can be quite painful during these experiences.
You definitely want to make an impact and have your point come across, but taking up anything longer than five minutes to do so is simply unnecessary. If you’ve found a poem that you love that really speaks to your relationship with your loved one, then consider shortening the experience by reading just a snippet.
By keeping things short and simple, you’ll not only guarantee that you’ll be able to make it through the piece, but also that everyone around you will enjoy it just as much.
Don’t Be Afraid to Be Funny
My father was, without any sort of doubt, the funniest man I’d ever known. He was constantly cracking jokes and doing everything he could to make the people around him laugh. So, when it came time to choose a poem for my father who passed away, I wanted to find something that would make me and everyone in the audience laugh just as much as he would make me laugh on a daily basis.
While it’s certainly true that funerals tend to be rather somber affairs, finding a way to bring some humor and light into the situation can make everyone feel a bit better about things.
Not only will it give everyone a break from the pain and loss, but it will remind everyone why they loved this person so much in the first place. Laughter is one of the most effective forms of healing, so starting the process outright from the funeral can be a great way to honor their happy and loving personality.
Consider Something Written Just for You
Have you been searching for what seems like forever and still can’t seem to find anything that really hits you and convinces you that this is the perfect piece to honor your loved one’s memory? Then, why not consider having something written specifically for you?
Many writers, nowadays, are more than willing to come up with poems that relate directly to a person who’s passed, working with the friends and family of the person to get a better idea of who they were, what they loved, and what they lived for.
By having a professional writer come up with something new just for you, you can rest assured knowing that not only will this be a poem that lives up to your every expectation, but that it will also be something you’ll love and treasure for the rest of your life.
Losing someone you love, especially a close family member, such as your mother or father, can be one of the most difficult and tragic moments in anyone’s life. Finding the ways to express your feelings of loss can be incredibly difficult, and having to do so in the time before the funeral can seem impossible.
However, sometimes the perfect words aren’t ones we come up with on our own, but rather something is written by a complete stranger that somehow touches on exactly how we feel at the moment.
By finding a poem you connect with, something that you love and are sure that person would enjoy just as much, you’ll be able to communicate to everyone in attendance just how much of an impact this person had on your life and how much their loss means.
My father was one of the most important figures in my life. He was always there when I needed him to be with the perfect advice and guidance for every situation. Losing him was a harder blow than I ever thought I’d have to deal with. However, finding a poem for my father who passed away ended up being one of the most relieving processes after the fact.
If you’re going through a similar situation at the moment, I hope that you can keep these tips in mind and find a poem that fits your relationship and the love the two of you shared.
Most of all, remember that this is an opportunity to have that final, lasting connection, so make sure you find a piece that really fits the two of you in a way that nothing else can and you’ll be sure to cherish that memory for the rest of your life.