Death is one thing that even the bravest are don’t find easy to deal with. It brings people to their knees. It is something uniquely experienced by each individual. Click Here!
The most common emotions felt include,
Shock- the death of a loved one will always come as a surprise. Death is never timed or planned for. Even if a person were sick, we always believe that they will get healed, so their death either way still comes as a hard blow.
Anger- that death is an unfair happening which takes away people close to us, as we watch helplessly. It would be much better if there was a way we would shield ourselves from death, especially our beloved. The anger of this helplessness is strongly felt when faced with its loss.
Pain- the pain felt during this trying moment is strong. This is a loss that can’t be recovered or compensated however much one might wish. Some people further get addictions in attempts of dealing with it, they do not know how to live with the reality of the death of a loved one, so they would rather drown in the effects of their addictions.
Guilt- it is quite common to feel that perhaps you have done something differently, the death of a loved one would have been avoided.
Loneliness- usually, people tend to feel a vacuum left behind by the loss. If for instance, you used to share a meal with them strategically seated in a particular area, that seat becomes empty, and no one who occupies it can be equal to the deceased. Click Here!
Depression- that life is no longer worth living without them is a feeling common to many mourners. We always feel that life has literally come to a halt, and we should have died together with them. This makes people pull away and keep to themselves.
Fear- the uncertainty that surrounds a future without our loved ones makes us fearful. A common question at this juncture is whether we will be able to make it without their presence. We also fear what the people around us will do or say about the death, and whether or not they will support us even after the burial.
How To Get Over The Death Of A Loved One. Let’s have a look at some of the grieving stages
Some psychologists site the availability of only 5 grieving stages that mourners go through, denial, anger, guilt, sadness and depression. The stage theory of grief does not, however, state how long a person might take at each stage, whether they are according to a given order, and whether or not you experience only one at a time, a mixture of two, or all of them simultaneously.
Anticipating what to expect is considered quite helpful in dealing with a situation once we get confronted by it.
The key to getting over the death of a loved one lies in overcoming the above-mentioned emotions. There is no systematic way regarding the emotions, that which one supersedes the other, sometimes you get a mixture of all of them together.
Allow yourself to grief- the death of a loved one is too painful to bear, flow with your emotions. Cry if you want, take some time alone, shout out, sing, or do something that lets you express the pain. Do not pretend that all is well so that you look strong, let go of your emotions.
Learn to accept the fact that your beloved is gone- it has never been easy coming to terms with death. It is as painful as it can get. But slowly starting to accept death as a natural process that we shall all succumb to is a step towards letting go of our loved ones. We should envision it as the time that was predetermined for them so that we continue living as we look forward to our own times. Click Here!
Another point of view is the fact that they have not totally left, but that they have turned into spirits or guardian angels which constantly watch over us, and that someday upon our own death, we shall reunite with them in the afterworld.
Do not time your grieving process- it is quite lame to imagine that at a certain time after the death of your beloved, you would have healed or moved on. It is impossible to state at what point a person heals, and what worked for your brother might not necessarily be the case to you. Let nature take its course.
For some people, grieving goes on for a year, others months, whatever period, go by your own feelings. But even amidst the grieving, do not forget to live your life as normal as possible. If you find this impossible way after the loss, it is advisable that you seek professional counselling.
Share your feelings and experience by talking to others- this is a nice way of healing. You should, however, start talking when you feel you ready to, if not, take your time first. Talking to fellow mourners is especially helpful as you will get to learn how they are coping with the loss of that same loved one.
You will also get advice on the things you can do to preoccupy yourself as you heal, besides getting that feeling of a big lamp off your chest by the virtue of just speaking it out.
Professional counselling- there comes times when people are not just able to cope with grief the natural way, thereby necessitating the need for counselling therapy. Counsellors can be trusted to understand what we go through and take us through healing by talking to us, or engaging us in certain activities, till we are able to get back on our two feet. Some do it freely while others require a certain fee for their counselling services.
A person can never truly and forever get over the death of a loved one. What usually happens involves grasping and celebrating the good moments shared with them, and living your life in these precious memories.