Funerals are a way to celebrate life and honor the person that has passed away. Even though families rarely send out formal invitations, our attendance is typically expected. Still, sometimes, our own lives get in the way of us being there, and we’re faced with the difficult decision of whether or not we should go. Then, we’ll have to ponder if going is worthwhile and ask ourselves: should I attend a funeral that is far away?
Sure, in some cases, we must do our best to attend the funeral, even if it’s inconvenient for us. But sometimes, life circumstances could get in the way and make it impossible for us to be there. The decision could be incredibly difficult, and we might need help making it. Hopefully, anyone with that’s questioning whether they should go to a funeral that’s far away will be able to find a definitive answer by the end of this article.
Is Attending a Funeral Always Necessary?
Of course, attending any funeral is optional, and the decision should always be left to us. However, there are some cases where people presume we’ll be there. More often than not, this becomes an issue of respect and expectations. But we also need to consider that some people need us, as they may take a lot of comfort in us being there.
For example, we should always try to attend a funeral if we were incredibly close to the deceased. If we don’t go, we could end up regretting the decision for the rest of our lives. Also, if our partners or close friends are the ones who have suffered the loss, we should absolutely do our best to be there and support them.
Overall, it all comes down to emotions, and we have to listen to our hearts when trying to decide on attending a funeral. But should I attend a funeral that is far away? Well, the answer is not that straightforward, but we’ll give it our best to provide it.
When Should We Avoid Going to a Funeral?
There are some funerals when our presence will be unwarranted or unwanted. For example, people often wonder whether they should go to the funeral of their ex-partner. This question might be tricky to answer, as it mostly depends on the current state of their relationship.
If the split was amicable and we stayed friends, there’s almost no reason we shouldn’t pay our respects. After all, the person was likely quite important at some point in our lives.
However, if the split was tumultuous and we haven’t seen them in a while, there’s no need to go to the funeral. For example, we undoubtedly shouldn’t go if our presence will make other mourners feel sad or angry. We might draw focus from the funeral itself and make others feel even worse. Additionally, if the family is having a private service (and we didn’t receive an invitation), we should take the hint.
Even if neither of these is the case, sometimes, there are other circumstances in our lives that could prevent us from going. For those that are still on the fence and asking themselves, should I attend a funeral that is far away, here are some additional things to consider:
Can I Afford It?
It should go without saying that we don’t need to break the bank in order to attend a funeral. Life is for living, and we must decide whether we can fit the occasion into our life and budget.
Firstly, if the procession is far away, we need to work out whether we can afford the transportation costs. We must also consider any additional expenses that might come up, such as flowers and funeral donations.
Finally, we need to take into account whether we’ll need to pay for accommodation to attend. When all of these factors add up, we might need to stay home to avoid going bankrupt.
Is My Presence Necessary?
As with most things in life, emotions come into play when one’s trying to decide whether or not they should go to a funeral. So when faced with the question, should I attend a funeral that is far away, we must think about the current state of our relationship with the deceased and their family.
If we had a big falling out with them and weren’t planning on continuing the relationship, going to the funeral isn’t necessary. While the relationship factor isn’t crucial, it’s essential in figuring out whether we should attend. Because, in addition to being inconvenient for us, our presence might be a nuisance to the bereaved.
Can I Get There Safely?
Even if we’re incredibly close to the person who died, we must always put our health first. So heavily pregnant women and people with physical disabilities shouldn’t put their health at risk to attend a funeral.
There’s no need to risk our well-being for the sake of attending a funeral. Surely, others will respect us and our health enough and understand our decision to stay home.
In the same vein, if we have surgery or some other serious procedure scheduled for the day, we shouldn’t try to postpone it. Again, our health must come first, no matter the circumstances.
Will It Jeopardize My Job?
If a funeral is far away, we’ll probably need to take a few days off of work to attend it. However, not all bosses are understanding when it comes to such occasions and might not give us the time off. The situation could be unfortunate, but we must think of what our priorities are.
As bad as it seems, we shouldn’t go to a funeral if we’ll end up jeopardizing our future. That being said, if we were incredibly close to the deceased and think that we’d regret not going, we should go no matter what. Keep in mind that jobs will come and go, but we only get that one last chance to say goodbye.
What Should I Do If I Can’t Attend a Funeral?
Once we’ve asked ourselves — should I attend a funeral that is far away — if we’ve decided against it, we still need to show sympathy. Namely, we should always express our condolences even if we can’t physically be there. Of course, if we think that the family of the deceased has some ill will toward us, we might opt out of any form of communication.
However, if we aren’t going for unfortunate reasons (such as distance), the bereaved will undoubtedly appreciate some kind of gesture. First, we should call them and verbally express that we’re sorry we couldn’t make it and give our condolences.
We can also send cards expressing how sorry we are for their loss and offer any kind of support we can. Additionally, we could call a local florist and have them deliver flowers on the day. Another great way of showing our respect is making a charitable donation to a cause that the deceased cared for.
So even if we aren’t able to go, we can’t allow that to burden us and make us hate ourselves. We can always pay respect to the deceased by honoring their memory in our own way and keeping them in our hearts and prayers.
Showing up to a funeral might be greatly appreciated by other mourners, as it’s a way of showing our love and support. That being said, we need to keep in mind that both lives and funerals are for the living. So if there are extenuating circumstances that prevent us from going, we should deal with them and stay home.
Still, emotions are a huge factor in deciding whether we should go to a funeral. There’s no point in choosing not to go, only to end up hating ourselves for the rest of our lives. Also, if we do go, other bereaved will surely appreciate our presence.
All in all, funerals aren’t meant to be convenient. So should I attend a funeral that is far away? Well, our final answer is — it depends. Take into consideration everything we’ve mentioned above and then decide for yourself. Just know that even if you don’t attend, it would be advisable to show support to the bereaved one way or another. So send them flowers or a heartfelt letter on the day of the event. They will surely appreciate it!