Funeral Poems and Grief
These two subjects are strangely linked. When we lose a loved one either expected (old age) or unexpected (a tragic accident) we think about how to select a suitable funeral poem. From my own experience, I quickly found that there were the famous funeral poems that everyone tended to use. But that wasn’t for me. I needed to find words that were totally unique and would truly impress my audience. I stumbled across a download that enabled me to select, from 250 funeral poems and can be found right here.
It was a busy time having to organise the funeral. My mind was in a spin. But in a strange way, it was an enjoyable time mixing with family and friends. However, once the dust settled I found myself experiencing some strange changes. Looking back, it was somewhat strange. Of course, I now know that I was experiencing the symptoms of grief. Once I recognised what was happening I took a major step and found something that enabled me to deal with grief in a positive and constructive way. Simply click here to found out how to cope with grief.
Our society has a tendency to adopt behaviours based on what is felt to have worked for others, forgetting that everyone else is unique. It creates this aura that going your own unique way is kind of abnormal or unacceptable. Much are cultures and traditions govern us to avoid confusions in different setups, sometimes this does not work well, especially when we wish to talk about grief as a result of death.
1. Grief does come to a stop. On the contrary, we only learn to cope with grief & life following the death of a loved one, but the scar is carried for the rest of our lives.
2. Time is a healer. Well, over time, the pain reduces, but it will never fully go away. For that matter, one is regarded as being stuck, if after a long period following the death of their loved one, they till cry when talking about them, looking at their pictures, or simply can’t get rid of the deceased’s belongings. Some people further feel that the first year of grief is the worst, some the second, but everyone will learn to cope in their own time.
3. Women grieve more than men do, and that man would rather not talk about the grief compared to women. Pain is a pain, man or woman, so don’t be hard on yourself so that you are society fit, or equally weaken up so you belong. Do what you must do, to express your emotions and feel better, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman.
4. Grieving is more of a journey. The 5 stages of grieving are a shell of what happens during grief, not to say that there is a predetermined end. Grief may come, go, come again and go, then finally fade, and the associated emotions equally interchange at given points as one learns to live with their loss.
The death of a loved one is devastating. It is a sad part of life that we carry with us for the rest of our lives. Our bodies go through so much during this time, both physically, emotionally, and mentally. The period that follows is the grieving period, and is dependent on each individual’s personality, and may vary ranging from months to years.
A theory, called the 5 stages of grief, is referred to when emotional symptoms of grief become the subject of discussion. However, there is no proven sequence for these emotions and stated duration for each of them. At one particular point or the other during grieving, a person is bound to experience one of them, but they are bound to be experienced in wholesome in the long run.
Bargaining. It may be referred to as denial by others. The brain is not prepared to process this news, and there is a debate as to whether the news of one’s death is indeed true, with some hopes that it is a passing cloud, from which we will wake up and still talk to them. The shock of hearing about death almost usually makes anyone in this situation feel like they are not being told the truth. It is something that takes time to sink in.
For the first couple of days, you might even find someone going about their routines normally, much until the brain actually realizes the reality of the situation, upon which everything comes to a numb stop.
Guilt. Those who are left behind start to imagine that they played a role in the death of someone. Perhaps it is because of the bad relationship you had with them, or maybe we didn’t care or love them enough- there is just something that should have been done differently, and they’re staying prolonged.
Whether or not a person was close to the deceased, never really matters. You will still find yourself debating over any possible loophole that you should have sealed so that they don’t die. This feeling is worse off in case it happens when one doesn’t have a peaceful relationship with the deceased. It feels like you blew a thousand chances they gave you to make things better but you still gave them a distance, and now they are no longer there to work things out.
Anger. Death and life become unfair players. A person comes to term with the reality that the deceased is no more. Death makes one feel helpless, weak and vulnerable. That despite everything else, you do not have power over it. There is anger towards death, it doesn’t respect no one’s wish or prowess. It mercilessly acts despite our best efforts.
There is anger towards life itself, for being so unfair and letting the people we love slip from our hands. Why wouldn’t life be fair enough and give equal chances to everyone, as it does with some other people?
Sadness. There is a pain in losing a loved one, the gap they leave behind is not easy to fill, facing a future without their presence not easy to contemplate. Like in the case of a spouse, one is left fully in charge of making the family’s decisions alone and being financially responsible or everything when these are things that were shared earlier on. A sibling will lack a playmate and a companion. A parent will have to see other children make milestones, something that their deceased kid never lived to do.
Death is a natural process, but its naturality can never be prepared for and embraced, such that when it occurs, we are able to rate it normally and put smiley faces. We still feel sad that for not being able to see someone whom was a part of our routines and wonder how such routines will be faced all by ourselves.
Acceptance. This happens shortly after death for some people but takes a whole lots more for others. Way after some people feel that they have learnt how to live with the absence of the deceased, you might still be overwhelmed by emotions, having been triggered by things like holidays, or coming across things that they liked.
People make adjustments following the death of a loved one, perhaps in the hobbies employed, foods that are eaten places lived, and so on, all as mechanisms of coping with the pain death causes.
These decisions are made when one finally realizes that life has to go on, and we have to make the best of every moment left with those who are around us.
Where the body is disturbed emotionally, its physique also gets trickle effects. Denial and imagining that they are not dead for instance, makes us take considerable time trying to bridge the gap, thereby making us have less sleep.
Disruption in sleeping routines. One has to move about making funeral arrangements, and when left alone, still has to deal with grieving. Sometimes you even feel like sleeping is disrespectful to the deceased, for how will you rest when they are not okay? You might even take time to fall asleep because you are still thinking of the memories you have with the deceased.
Some people will also oversleep so that they don’t live with the reality of losing a loved one. At least sleeping makes them preoccupied with thinking about the pain of living without their beloved.
Headaches. Naturally, headache is a mechanism or the body to communicate with someone that things are not okay. It could be as a result of not sleeping well, drinking enough water or eating as required. It could simply also be a way through which the body reacts to shock.
Joint pains. Probably because of moving up and about during funeral arrangements, or exercising or not having enough rest. Just like headaches, it could also be the way through which the body responds to a shocking news.
Appetite and digestions issues. It could cut both ways. A person may have increased appetite and resort to eating full time as a way of escaping from reality. One may also lose appetite and fail to eat owing to inability to do it because of the deceased’s absence or simply lack time to sit and eat following the resulting buzz of activities.
Weight deterioration and weight gain. A person automatically loses or gains weight upon stressful conditions. Weight gain could be as a result of over-eating and over-sleeping as a way of coping with the stress. Weight loss will be a result of not feeding and have enough rets besides subjecting the brain to overtime as you try to come to terms with the reality of losing a loved one.
Losing someone so close is a permanent scar, but learning the best ways to live with it is the best score. It takes time to accept, but the beauty is that we eventually do so. There is no secret to this, but making the first step and embracing those activities which you find comfortable, and trying new ones whenever you hear about them, you might just be surprised how much stress will be lifted off your shoulders.
Reading poems. Poems will perform a number of roles to help you cope as listed below,
They celebrate the deceased- one of the key things in moving forward is embracing a positive attitude, even with things concerning the deceased. Shifting your focus from their death as a loss, and trying to see the positive impact their presence had. What were the lessons learnt from their lives? What were the best moments you shared with them? During grieving it’s not easy to see such, we are engulfed in pain, but unreal poems capture the things worth celebrating in the deceased’s life. Thereby jump starting a person on the same.
They help in communicating with the deceased. It is recommended that you speak out your emotions if you want to come out of grief. This may be difficult for lack o proper words to express our emotions owing to the caused pain. These poems have captured what one would wish to say upon the death of a loved one, to include the things they wish to tell the deceased to help bring a closure to their pain.
A gift to the deceased- buying a gift to people special to us brings fulfilment, it is a gesture that they are thought about, loved, and cared for, giving you that similar satisfaction, something in your heart came out. Going this extra mile even with the deceased gives you some serene peace that you exploited everything possible even in their death, and so you have no reason to be guilty. All stones were turned.
Sadly though, there is very little left for us to gift our beloved once they die. If you wished to take them somewhere, you might not be able to, you could buy them a necklace and have them wear it o the grave. Funeral poems are a nice simple way to gift the deceased and can be used on things such as their obituaries, death notices, funeral flowers and gravestones.
An aspect of spirituality- the poems will still make meaning of one’s faith, which usually becomes shaky when someone dies. People begin to think that they are not equally loved as others. The religious funeral poems help one to continue living strong in faith despite everything while requesting God to accept the departed as is the belief in Christian faith.
The Holy Bookshop has the best funeral poems. Herein, you will find most popular long funeral poems and shot funeral poems, religious funeral poems and non-religious funeral poems, all applicable in the below mentioned categories.
Funeral poems for mother
Funeral poems for father
Funeral poems for daughter
Funeral poems for son
Funeral poems for brother
Funeral poems for sister
Funeral poems for cousin
Funeral poems for aunt
Funeral poems for uncle
Funeral poems for niece
Funeral poems for nephew
Funeral poems for grandmother
Funeral poems for grandfather
Funeral poems for friend
Funeral poems for colleague
Listening to music. Music works like poems. They are sang by people who have been in tough situations, to encourage others going through the same. They are ideal where you wish to have some time alone to reminisce over everything that is going on around you.
Respecting your emotions. This is very key. Don’t do things because you are told to, do them when you feel like it. Listening to music will not help one unless they are ready. Sit alone if you wish, go for a walk, cry if you may, talk about the deceased when you are ready, laugh whenever that is all to do. Locking up one’s emotions interferes with grieving by prolonging it. Do not compare yourself to others, go your way, you might not necessarily grieve for a short period like you saw someone do it. Everybody walks their own journey in grieving which ends at different times for each individual.
The deceased’s memory. Learning to go through their memories through things like looking at their pictures, eating the foods they loved, visiting places they liked, watching their best movies, and so on, helps one feel light about the whole situation. You could ensure they are equally not forgotten through things like holding memorial services, starting up foundations, and the occasional making of donations, all give the satisfaction of them still being a part of our normal lives, as opposed to seeing them as absent.
There are several other myths that we might not have covered here at the Holy Bookshop. But no matter what you hear, the most important thing, recommended even by psychiatrists, in grieving, is respecting your emotions as they unveil, and adhering to your own time when grieving while doing things which you find comfortable to help you cope.